Writer Can’t Choose Between a Photographer and His Stepbro
Help support the BL library on Patreon and get extra content!
About:
Warning:
There will be spoilers for the manhwa series Love or Hate.
Content Warning: There may be references to pseudo-incest (sexual relationship with stepbrother), breakups, excessive drinking, mentions of dieting, mentions of shotacon (no actual shotacon takes place), prejudice, non-consenting porn, gossiping, invasion of privacy, violence, manipulation, mentions of divorce, strained familial relationships, threatening suicide, child abuse, homomisia, self-hatred, self-deprecation, mentions of insomnia, underage smoking, blood, blackmail, comments on body and weight loss, mentions of cheating (dubious due to the nature of the relationships), stalking, bullying, child labor (child acting), mentions of death, child abandonment, ableism (use of the r-slur), car accidents, mentions of drugs, and drug use, as they do appear in the manhwa.
Synopsis:
Haesoo is in a rut. He used to be highly praised as a young writer, considered a prodigy, and expected to do amazing things even at a young age. But after some good progress with writing smutty stories in a column, his work has become stale, and his column is gone. Frustrated but unsure what to do, Haesoo works freelance for a gossip magazine. His professional life seems to mimic his personal one, too. He’s also in a relationship rut with none other than famous actor Choi Joowon. But to Haesoo, Joowon isn’t an actor: he’s his stepbrother and casual sex partner.
The two have gone from mortal enemies in their teens to each other’s firsts, only to become whatever this cold and casual situationship is as adults. Haesoo loves Joowon, but he hates him, too. He hates that Joowon is more successful than he is, that Joowon still has this hold on him, and that he won’t ever love him. Haesoo jumps from relationship to relationship, but in the end, he runs back to Joowon – or Joowon runs back to him. It’s a neverending cycle of pleasure and pain that Haesoo can’t see a way out of.
That is until he’s tasked with interviewing mysterious and provocative photographer K. K, whose real name is Song Taekyung, is strange. He stares at Haesoo as if he’s looking at something Haesoo wants to keep hidden. But there is a strange magnetism between the two of them that Haesoo just can’t seem to shake. Is the photographer Haesoo’s chance to break out of this rut, both professionally and personally? Or will his obsession with Joowon hold him back?
Review:
I read this forever ago. I’d say this is actually one of the first four or five BL manhwa I had ever read when I was just starting, and I’m so excited I finally get to review it. The art in this one set the bar high for what I expected when it came to manhwa art, so you can thank this title for much of my pickiness today. I always reread titles as I review them, so I was excited to see how this holds up. Having read so much since reading this one, I didn’t realize then how inconsistent it is. Like with all work, the longer it goes on, the better it gets. But either way, I like the art in this. It reminds me a ton of Banana Scandal, which is one of my favorite titles of all time. It’s in the eyes, I think. If you like the art in Banana Scandal, this is a much cleaner version, and though it isn’t the most consistent, it has some of the prettiest panels I’ve ever seen. I think it’s worth reading this for those panels alone.
This story is all about self-sabotage, guilt, and desperation. Haesoo loves Joowon, but due to his insecurities and guilt toward his mother, he refuses to allow himself to love Joowon. He satisfies his need for love and affection with Taekyung, who offers himself to be used. Unlike his mother, who consistently scolds him for being with Joowon, and Joowon, who has said before that he won’t fall for him, Taekyung is readily available for Haesoo. Haesoo has permission to be with Taekyung, even if he doesn’t return Taekyung’s feelings. He gets in the way of his own happiness because he doesn’t feel like he deserves love.
But that’s only the symptom. The root cause of his issue is his deep-seated inferiority complex. It often manifests in how he openly flirts with other men or talks about them in front of Joowon. But we get insight into his thoughts, where he frequently laments over his inability to create good work. This, again, is why he falls into a situationship with Taekyung. Haesoo sees Taekyung’s work as low-value porn, yet Taekyung is regaled as a talented artist. Haesoo is older than Taekyung and was also praised for his work when he debuted. He relives a lot of his glory days through Taekyung, so not only does he have the freedom to have sex and enjoy Taekyung as a partner, but he can, hopefully, reclaim his artistic talents, just as Taekyung had suggested.
He doesn’t truly love Taekyung. He wants all that Taekyung can give him while he silently suffers and pines after Joowon. This sets us up for a cruel, selfish love triangle with Haesoo at the center. Haesoo has always been in transactional relationships. He and Joowon, from his understanding, have had sex because they simply needed to let off steam or so they wouldn’t be lonely. So, when Taekyung appears, he assumes he can do the same with him. But ultimately, his relationship with Taekyung reveals how he doesn’t see his relationship with Joowon as transactional – or at least, he doesn’t want to. While he likes having sex with Taekyung, it’s not the same emotional pleasure he receives from Joowon. Taekyung is honest, tells Haesoo he loves him, and gives him the emotional support and time Joowon never could; these are all things Haesoo wants and accepts from Taekyung, but Taekyung can’t provide him with everything because Haesoo also wants Joowon.
Taekyung is in a race that started long ago without him and has no hope of winning. It’s a miserable version of a love triangle where one person is used to develop another. It’s extremely toxic, so if you’re hoping for a balanced love triangle, you’re in the wrong place. I recall despising that Haesoo didn’t pick Taekyung in the end when I first read it, but going over it a second time, I think the way it plays out makes sense – but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Results:
This is the epitome of love triangles. It’s painful and frustrating in so many ways, and I recall really wanting Haesoo to end up with Taekyung, and it royally pissed me off when he didn’t. But having read it for a second time, I have come to terms with this ending. This was how it was meant to be. Many people will love this result, and many people will hate it. Much like the title, Love (it) or Hate (it), you will feel something. And, like in a love triangle, someone will get hurt. I think this is a very powerful title, but if cruel and painful love triangles aren’t your thing, this certainly isn’t going to change your mind about that.
Have you read Love or Hate? If so, what do you think? Do you agree with my assessment? Do you not? Let me know, and comment below!